That Figures: FEATURE: LoEB ''Star of the Show''

Hey kids! It's time for another League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment!

This week, Brian posed the following:

Television executives have determined that you lead an amazing life and have pegged you as the next big reality TV star. What’s the name and the premise of your show?

After giving it some thought (and deleting my original article, as it went to some very dark places) I've come up with a winning concept for my reality TV show: Iok Watches Stuff on Netflix.

Each week the show would be an over-the-shoulder shot of me, watching stuff on Netflix. Now I know you're probably going to say ''why would somebody choose that over just watching the original movie on Netflix?" but the answer is simple: the show is interactive.

You see, every time there's a boring part where somebody is explaining something or just walking or whatever, the show would send you a selection of random text messages about Becky twerking on De'Bron @ Jaydens party and how borring thiz movie iz (LOL!) so you'd always have something to keep you engaged, even when there's, like, some old dude who's 25 or something and he's talking about some stuff about the thing in some place to somebody.

And if that wasn't enough excitement, when the movie was being really, really boring, I'd actually call one lucky viewer and start cursing down the phone at them and calling them an assortment of names, because if there's one thing we've learned from reality TV it's that nothing says ''engaging television'' quite like people shouting and arguing with each other!